She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
