Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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