We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
