Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
where are my eyebrows?
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