Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
