I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I am naked and annoyed.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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