Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
