i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
