VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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