So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize