Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
