I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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