I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
