3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
