That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
