I'm really into asian looking animals
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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