high people should be assigned attendants
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
