Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
