Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
