So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
