i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
