I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Randomize
