soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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