Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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