yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
