No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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