think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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