What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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