well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
