dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
