CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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