haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
