Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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