He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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