Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
