Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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