i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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