Those balls look pretty dangerous.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
