I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
