oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
wow bdsm is so cute
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
