I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
