I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
