I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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