even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
