Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
