Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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