I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
