I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
