they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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