im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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