"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
