do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
