Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
