Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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