We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
