She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
In America we eat man semen.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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