do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just googled if crying burns calories
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
