Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
