I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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