You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize
