you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
