One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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