So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
