your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
