On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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