That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
