She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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