how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize