Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
